A Good Night at the Office

Well, last night was my first truly successful night in the service industry. My partner in crime and I managed to get some pretty serious tip money, a first for me in my short and far from illustrious serving career.

This feat was accomplished thanks to a few lucky breaks. For one, we had a table of drunken Mexican landsapesmen who were clearly getting paid for their services (by their gringo companion) with cervezas and Tuscan Chicken entrees. I am quite sure I wouldn't have been able to serve these gentleman if a valid green card was required for service. They didn't speak a drop of English and they looked particularily sheepish anytime they were required to attempt communication. It was however, quite humorous when they would order their beers: "Bood Liight Main." They had clearly gone to the Carlos Mencia immigration academy. Despite my fears that I was going to get stiffed by these drunkards on the tips, they ended up surpassing the mandatory 15% comfortably on their $170 tab. My faith in the goodness of mankind was briefly restored.

My other big hunk of tips came from a table of 15-20 elderly folks. I did such a shitty job I was thinking about tipping them for dealing with my sorry ass. The only thing that saved me was the fact that I let the leader of this motley, geriatric crew call me "Jeffery" and explain to me the nuances of effective scotch drinking. I'm quite sure he liked me so much he threatened the rest of his crew with physical violence if they didn't pony up a decent tip number. The only problem was that by the time my guy was out the door a few of his people hadn't received their meals, thus leaving them to dictate their own gratuity-leaving strategies; they obviously gave me the business on the ol' tip line. You can't win them all.

It was a good night, in general, with good, old fashioned American grinding. Nothing like working the 4-12:30 shift on a Friday night!