Matt Jones: "Cocaine's A Helluva Drug"

It seems Matt Jones' judgement is about as sound as his hand's in the red zone. The under-performing Jaguars wide receiver was arrested Thursday, in Fayettville, after police found him and two others in a truck cutting up in excess of six grams of cocaine. Upon further investigation the police also discovered a jar of marijuana.

Six grams is a lot of cocaine by any standard. After one gram you can actually be charged with intent to deliver, although it looks like the authorities are not going to take that angle in the Jones case.

I just don't get it. Why the hell don't these athletes just do their dirt at home. It's like high-paid, professional athletes who get DUIs -- are you kidding me? Get one of your minions to drive you. Better yet, have one of your do-boys ready to take the fall if you are ever caught with copious amounts of narcotics. That's what they're there for.

A Little Flight of the Conchords For Ya'

The Flight of the Conchords is one of those little television programs that just grows into you. I know there are some people who don't get it, or are a little put off by their sideways humor and charismatic New Zealand accents, but for me they're just the tops. Enjoy this clip of the band performing their smash hit If You're Into It.

Sacha Baren Cohen: Back In The Saddle

He's at it again. This time Sacha Baren Cohen's character of choice is Bruno -- the gay, Austrian, fashion aficionado sent to America to straighten people's sense of style out while simultaneously attempting to make heterosexual men squirm.


The working title of Bruno's movie, the follow up to Cohen's smash hit Borat movie, is "Brüno: Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making Heterosexual Males Visibly Uncomfortable in the Presence of a Gay Foreigner in a Mesh T-Shirt."


Following the Borat movie, Cohen came under attack, by some conservative groups, for taking advantage of people during filming, causing them to look foolish on film -- a distinction they probably deserve.


Last month, a crowd of 1500 Arkansas natives were duped into being a part of the new Bruno movie. They were drawn to an event called Blue Collar Brawlin', which featured $1 beers and promised "hot chicks, cold beer, hardcore fights." The event was staged by Cohen and his associates; the crowd didn't exactly get what they had planned for: In the last bout of the night, the two brawlers tore each others clothes off and began kissing each other's bare chests while wearing only underwear. The display of man on man action nearly caused a riot as the drunken (and I'm sure very ignorant crowd) began to throw their beers and chairs into the ring.


I'm sure the movie is going to be a classic and I can't wait to check it out. It seems Cohen still has no mercy for our country's red-necked segment of society. This is the poster that Cohen and friends used.

Quote of the Day

"If we're going to be damned, let's be damned for what we really are."

—Captain Jean-Luc Picard

Check This Out

If any of you have played FIFA Soccer for the XBOX 360 you may recognize this little gem of London, power hip-hop. The group is called Mattafix and they're quite a catchy bunch. This is definitely good background music. I suggest you ride out to it as you continue your internet browsing experience. Enjoy.

Good News Bucs Fans!

Well Bucs fans, it looks like you've had yourself one hell of a draft. It has been leaked that the two players who brawled at the rookie symposium last week were none other than your 1st round draft pick, Aqib Talib, and your 7th round draft pick, Cory Boyd.

The rookie symposium is like a big workshop set up to help get rookie NFL players adjusted to their new lifestyles and the decisions they'll face because of them. Apparently, the two were in a budget and finances meeting when the punches began to fly. Although the life-budgeting seminar might have been what sent these two class-acts over the top, they had been jawing back and forth all day.

Talib had some character concerns heading into the draft -- some believe that this caused him to drop, allowing the Bucs to take him in the 1st; he had previously been thought a higher prospect than that. One league insider was quoted as saying, "trouble just follows Talib. . . . He can’t help himself, and it’s never his fault.”

As for Mr. Boyd, some of you SEC football fans may remember when he was suspended by South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier in 2005. Boyd was later let back on the team. After scoring his first touchdown since being back from his suspension, Boyd smartly told one sideline camera, "I'm back. I'm back like cooked crack."

Quote of the Day

"Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankind; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee."

-John Donne

I'm Keith Hernandez

Obviously, New York Met's shortstop Jose Reyes doesn't watch Seinfeld re-runs in his free time. If he did, he would know Keith Hernandez is not a man to be trifled with because he... is Keith Hernandez.

Hernandez, who is now thew Met's color-commentator, was confronted by Reyes as the team boarded their plane on Friday. He was upset because Hernandez said the team needed to quit babying the very talented but sometimes underachieving Reyes. The two did not come to blows as was first leaked, but a heated "conversation" clearly occurred.

If physical violence had indeed been necessary, Reyes would have been given a sound and complete beating by the mustachioed moniker of masculinity.

The picture doesn't lie. Chewing tobacco and dip weren't enough to satisfy the Nicotine needs of Hernandez during the heat of battle, in his heyday, so often time Marlboro Reds were called upon. Those were the days: when men were men and women stayed out of the dugout.

Here's to you Keith Hernandez.